My creative life (or something like that) and a list

It’s my belief that our brains don’t deteriorate as we age: they change. We move away from the factual towards the imaginative – towards stories, shapes and colours rather than words and ideas. We forget things like the days of the week or people’s names not because we’ve become forgetful but because they’re not important to us any more. Well, that’s my excuse.

And here’s the story of my brain’s development.

I went to a girls’ grammar school where the focus was firmly on the academic and passing exams. Then, after university and a lot of travelling and wrong turnings, I settled in Devon with Frog and started work as a book copy-editor and proofreader, occupations firmly rooted in the left brain*.

In my late thirties I branched into writing non-fiction books and articles. As a result of working in the publishing industry, I knew the gaps in the market, and as a result of migraines (vomiting and acute right-headed pain) that had begun in my twenties and my attempts to find a cure for them, I had become something of an expert on complementary health. These two factors combined to get me published.

In my fifties, with our financial situation easier, I didn’t have to work quite so hard at the editing and proofreading and I became interested in creative writing. It’s what I’d always wanted to do, but universities didn’t cover anything like that when I was a student so I’d not given the ambition any credence. I attended an evening class and started a novel. The process took me over however and I sat up writing for nights on end, eventually becoming ill and having to stop halfway through.

A few years later, I discovered the wonderful Roselle Angwin and followed one of her courses, meeting monthly for six months with her and a group of other would-be novel-writers. The result was a children’s novel. Or at least it was intended to be a children’s novel. It was in fact probably an adult novel with an eleven-year-old heroine. To date, it’s not found a publisher and actually I don’t think it’s very good. (It’s also hampered by the heroine and a ten-year-old friend running away on a canal-boat with two adults not related to them, which would probably not be allowed in a book these days.)

I didn’t find my editing work conducive to creativity. In fact it stifled it. So I took a part-time job in a local bookshop and at the same time signed up for another novel-writing course with Roselle, online this time. She kick-started the process by getting me to list all the mantras of my childhood, whether spoken or unspoken, and then choose one to write about. The one I chose (to disprove) was ‘Happiness is selfish’.

A few years later and a few drafts in, I sent the proto-novel to a literary consultancy** (Cornerstones) who loved it and made lots of helpful suggestions for ways it could be improved.

I then made a detour and edited a local villages magazine as I thought it was time I did something for the community. I had fun developing the magazine but after three years realised that to go any further would mean it becoming a full-time occupation and I didn’t want that. So I returned to the novel and, with the suggestions from Cornerstones in mind, started to redraft it yet again. The result was The Banker’s Niece, serialised on this blog as I rewrote it (see right).

At the beginning of this year I sent The Banker's Niece to another literary consultancy, The Literary Consultancy, whose Reader didn’t like it at all and – dare I say it – didn’t even appear to have read it properly. I slumped. I lost all belief in myself as a writer. I became depressed. Six weeks later, with the bad feelings not going away, I contacted TLC and explained what had happened, and they bless them (thank you, Joe) diagnosed a mismatch between Reader and novel and offered a second report free of charge.

I haven’t yet had that report back and I’ve no idea what it will say and I don’t even know if I want to carry on with the novel and rewrite it yet again, but my spirits have lifted. TLC’s first report is no longer the last word. There is hope. I’ve unlocked. My creative journey continues.

With the unlocking, a list of what I’ve learnt so far about creative writing, and novels in particular, has been forming in my mind. I thought I’d share it with you, not least because that way I’ll have to stick to it.

And, by the way, the migraines are getting better.

The list

If you want to start a new novel, state your intention to the universe and your subconscious and then step back and let them get on with it. Stressing and straining are counter-productive, and willpower is not what’s needed at this stage. Instead listen to the whispers in the corners of your mind and catch the images that flash across your mind’s eye. Soon they will gather momentum.

Remember to rest. Time spent not writing is as important as time spent writing. A wander round the garden, or in my case ten minutes flat on my back on the bed with my eyes closed, can be more productive than hours staring at a computer screen. Take days off, of course.

Have a routine for writing but don’t be too rigid about it. If you wake in the middle of the night flooded with ideas, write them in a notebook and then go back to sleep. Don’t get up and start working at the computer. If in the day the writing comes to a halt, stop. Either it’s finished, or you need time to refill the word-tank.

Keep notebooks everywhere – by the bed, in the bathroom, in the kitchen, in the car, in front of the television, in your bag. Ideas can strike at any time, any place.

Enjoy the journey. Don't be in too much of a hurry to finish a project. If a side-path presents itself, follow it. Who knows where you'll end up.

Don’t feel guilty about everything you’re not doing. (In my case this means cleaning the house, having a tidy garden, being sociable, seeing family, looking immaculate, doing things for the community.) Your writing is your gift to the world. Take it seriously. Put it first.

The East Devon coast two weeks ago

*You probably know all about right and left brain stuff but in case you don't - the left brain is the intellectual side and the right brain is the intuitive, sensory side. Women have more connections than men between the two sides which is why they see things more holistically.

**In the past publishers did everything for an author. Now you have to pay a literary consultancy for editorial advice and then an agent for selling your book to a publisher, and then you have to do all the publicity yourself.