Friday 28 October 2022

How wonderful life is

 Since the beginning of April, at the suggestion of the counsellor I’m seeing, I’ve been keeping a Notebook in which I try and write down all my thoughts and feelings. I’m now on Volume 4.
 
It’s become my best friend and helps me acknowledge the upheaval that’s going on inside  (since Frog died, in early January), instead of dashing around being busy and pushing everything to the dark dusty corners of my mind, for attention When I Have Time – which is of course (in my case) never.
 
This morning, after two good nights’ sleep (a rarity), I wrote the following.
 
Perhaps I can be glad that I met and lived with Frog and that he is still alive somewhere.
‘How wonderful life is, now he’s in the world.’
And, god willing, we will be together again.
 
Those are probably the first truly hopeful words I’ve written in the Notebook, which is why I’m sharing them with you.
 
(As you may – or may not – have noticed, I’ve been silent here for a couple of months. That’s been for several reasons:
-       There was too much going on my head to begin to be able to write something coherent
-       I had the Notebook and that was enough
-       I was too miserable.)
 
Here too, now I’m on a roll, are some pictures from the last few months.


The Scots pine that answers to mine. (See earlier post.) 



Looking through the mudra of my Scots pine to the hill where the other one lives. (It’s hidden behind that stand of trees, which is new Scots pines.) Thanks to my friend C for the idea for the picture.




A good crop of fat acorns



A puffball nearly as big as Ellie



The view from the distant Scots pine (and my friend C and her dog)