Boring update

I’ve finished the latest draft of The Novel. Hooray! I find novels such hard work. Every day as I walk into my writing room I think, can I do it? I feel constant pressure to make the most of my three writing days and get everything else done in the other four days of the week. I think about the novel all the time, so much so that my fictional life is more real than my real one and sometimes when I'm going about my real life it feels like fiction. It's hard to have the energy for a real life.

I intend to take a break till January and then have a last (I hope) quick run-through to tidy up some ends and redo a couple of chapters I’m not happy with yet.

In the meantime, I’ve offered to take over editing our ‘parishes newsletter’ (for four villages). The sensible part of me (a very small part) says that I will enjoy being connected to the community. The rest of me is screaming in terror as I have no idea how much work it will entail or how much I will struggle with the technical aspects (eg a new computer programme).

The dearth of pictures recently is due to the fact that my camera is nearly broken. When I inherited it (from my brother) one of the lugs (as Frog calls them) that keep the battery in place was broken. The other day I dropped the camera on our quarry-tiled kitchen floor and the other lug broke so now, when I take a picture, I have to hold the battery in place with a redundant finger – no mean feat. I’ve added ‘buying a camera’ to the list of ‘Things to do when I finish the novel’ (ie now).

As I lay in bed yesterday evening nursing my migraine my perception shifted and I moved into a blessed calm space. I realised that it’s not a question of either/or – is life an exam or a walk in the country? do I do this or that? have I made the right decision? It’s a question of stepping back from everything and observing it as part of the quirks of my peculiar life. The confusion is the problem, not the question. (Why do I keep forgetting that?)

This is rather a boring post but it’s difficult after a long gap, I find, to know where to start. I’m hoping it will open the door for other, more interesting, posts. By interesting I mean posts that have a more general relevance and aren’t just about me. Is that right? I’d love to know.