I’ve been getting in a terrible tizz about my future – to move or not to move, whether it’s OK to sell some of Frog’s stuff (do I want to keep it as a memento or is it better to move on?), how long will it be before I’m too old to manage on my own and what will I do then, ?
So yesterday, the dog and I took off for a walk by the sea.
During the walk I met a lovely woman and we had a long talk that started with our dogs - what else? - and went on to range from reincarnation to quantum mechanics, stopping off on the way at Tolkien and Philip Pullman. As Bilbo Baggins used to say, you never know what's going to happen when you step outside your front door.
The weather was perfect – bright but not too sunny, a light wind, moderate temperatures – and there weren’t many other people about. All my worries blew away and I wanted to keep going all day but I realised that I’d come out without any money and no map and had left my water bottle in the car.
So after a couple of hours I took the sensible option and walked back to the car along a filthy farm track, my feet squelching in a mixture of animal excrement and mud. I was glad of my hefty boots and knee-high waterproof socks.
Next time, I'll go better prepared.
Probably.
It's hard when the way ahead is so unclear.
There is so much to think about for you. All I can say is to take your time and don’t rush into anything. I’m sure you will know when you are ready. In the meantime there may be small steps you can take. I know mum still hasn’t sorted through all of dad’s stuff … she has been doing it in stages … starting with stuff that didn’t really mean anything and working up to the more personal stuff. Whatever you do I know you will always have your memories in your heart. Take care and just take every day as it comes. It sounds like you were blessed with the time you had together 💜
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Carol. That is all so helpful. I will treasure what you say.
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