From 1977 to 2019 Frog (my late husband) was connected with Exeter University’s student radio station. He looked after the equipment and gave continuity and advice to the ever-changing student members. He also presented his own programme, The Frog Prog, on which he played his unique choice of music, both popular and classical, from all eras, and passed on his encyclopaedic knowledge of all things musical.
Last June, past members of the radio station put together a tribute programme for Frog
https://www.mixcloud.com/XpressionShowcase/john-frog-whitworth-memorial-show/
and I’ve been crying my way through it. Sometimes they really catch his character and talents and it’s given me a whole new appreciation of him.
I’ve been doing a lot of crying lately. Since November in fact when I acquired a bad back. The pain then went to my legs where it has stuck ever since. It’s terrified me because, now I’m on my own, I have to manage. I can’t be ill or incapacitated. I have a dog to mind.
Ellie at one year old. She's now twelve and a half. |
But what I realised this morning is that the pain has made me get in touch with my feelings. It’s lowered my defences and let the grief come to the surface. It’s given me time. I haven’t been able to rush around clearing Frog’s stuff, forging a ‘new life’ and being brave. I’ve spent a lot of time alone, in my dressing-gown, writing in my Notebooks (a sort of diary), using up tissues.
And at the risk of sounding crass, I thought I might link all that to the slow emergence of spring, another turning point, as evidenced by the following pictures.
Rooks' nests by the canal |
The weeping willow over the lane below the house, always the first tree to burst into leaf |
Ivy berries, like bunches of grapes, important food for birds at this time of year |
Beech flowers |
Reply to your comment on my post … That’s strange. I haven’t done anything different. I’ve just read your latest post and all seemed ok. Blogger does seems to have a fair few hiccups. Not sure if you will see this reply so will put it on your post too 😀 Carol
ReplyDeleteAll seemed OK when I came back to your blog. Sorry to have bothered you!
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