5.6 Pat

This is an instalment of an autobiographical series. See right for more information.

The room, on the top floor of a three-storey terraced house, was cosy – more like a bedroom than a consulting room. A blue carpet and colourful rugs covered the floor. Books and knick-knacks filled shelves either side of a small grated fireplace. Out of the window I could see the roofs of Exeter. We sat in armchairs.
    Pat herself was of indeterminate age – older than us perhaps but only by ten years or so. She had fluffy brown hair and wore a light-pink cardigan, both offset by strong black-framed glasses.
    ‘So tell me why you’re here to see me,’ she said.
    Frog and I looked at each other.
    ‘Come on, come on,’ she said gently.

The previous year was a blur. Frog had been in mourning for Sam and, while I’d occasionally tried to comfort him, I hadn’t felt that that was really my role. It stuck in my throat (as my mother would say) to have to do it. It was a step too far.
    Whether we’d argued and fought as we had before Sam and what had eventually brought us to see Pat - a counsellor trained by the marriage-guidance charity Relate, now working independently in a complementary health centre - I can’t remember.
    It was my idea, I know, and me who’d done the research, but Frog hadn’t demurred. He’d come along with me in everything without saying a word.
    I’d spoken to Pat on the phone and she’d offered us a free fifteen-minute try-out session.
    As we climbed the second flight of steep wooden stairs however, I wondered whether we really needed this. Surely we could manage on our own. I felt OK now. Completely calm.

I told Pat this and she laughed.
    ‘Let’s see, shall we,’ she said.
    So I began trying to explain – about Brian in London, my parents, Sam – and the more I spoke, the more spilled out.
    Pat held up her hand. ‘Stop, stop. You don’t need to say any more. I can see now that this is going to take some time. Are you all right with that?’
    I nodded vehemently.

    I already trusted her. I already liked her. I knew she could help us.

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