About a month ago she started barking through the night. I tried everything I could think of that might help – ignoring her/going down to see her, letting her out for a run round the garden, putting an unwashed t-shirt in her bed so that the scent comforted her (something we did when she was a puppy), light on/lights off, in her crate/out of her crate, crate covered/crate uncovered.
Then one morning before breakfast, she vomited her supper undigested and later on in the car had a funny turn, retching, howling and shaking. I took her straight to the vet and they tested her blood, x-rayed her and scanned her. They couldn’t find anything wrong. 'Has anything traumatic happened to her recently? they asked, but I couldn't think of anything. 'Probably a touch of dementia then,' they said, prescribing both painkillers and a sedative to be on the safe side. Nothing changed. Then they prescribed sleeping pills. Still no change.
And now, weeks later, we’re both exhausted and still she barks. I wish I could talk to her. I wish I could find out what’s wrong. But sometimes I think there is no rhyme or reason to it all. It’s just her brain breaking down. It’s heart-rending.
She follows me around during the day and barks when I go upstairs and leave her behind. (She’s too weak to climb the stairs now and too heavy for me to carry.) I could sleep downstairs so that she can be near me during the night but it would be a huge disruption for me and, selfishly, I’m resisting. I'm experimenting with the ramp she uses to climb into the car.
I wish Frog was here to help.
Frog, with Ellie as a puppy |
It's not time for Ellie to go yet, but when she does go, it’ll be another huge chunk out of my life. Who knows where I’ll go or what I’ll do then.
A quiet moment in March last year |
Oh B. I have no words. Poor Ellie. Thinking of you both. Carol 💜
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Carol. It makes all the difference knowing that kind people like you are there. Bx
DeleteOh B. I'm so sorry. For you both. It is agony to watch her, to feel so alone, and to feel so helpless in spite of all your tender loving care. And not selfish to wish for a little respite... Bless your dear hearts. Sending love and hugs. Trish xx
ReplyDeleteThank you, dear Trish. I especially like the bit about my wish for respite not being selfish! xx
DeleteOh dear. I know she's always been an ethusiastic 'singer' - hopefully there are still good times ahead and you can get some sleep x
ReplyDelete