Since the beginning of April, at the suggestion of the
counsellor I’m seeing, I’ve been keeping a Notebook in which I try and write
down all my thoughts and feelings. I’m now on Volume 4.
It’s become my best friend and helps me acknowledge the
upheaval that’s going on inside (since Frog died, in early January), instead of dashing around being busy and
pushing everything to the dark dusty corners of my mind, for attention When I Have
Time – which is of course (in my case) never.
This morning, after two good nights’ sleep (a rarity), I
wrote the following.
Perhaps I can be glad
that I met and lived with Frog and that he is still alive somewhere.
‘How wonderful life is, now he’s in the world.’
And, god willing, we will be together again.
Those are probably the first truly hopeful words I’ve
written in the Notebook, which is why I’m sharing them with you.
(As you may – or may not – have noticed, I’ve been silent here
for a couple of months. That’s been for several reasons:
- There was too much going on my head to begin to be able to write something coherent
- I had the Notebook and that was enough
- I was too miserable.)
Here too, now I’m on a roll, are some pictures from the last
few months.
‘How wonderful life is, now he’s in the world.’
And, god willing, we will be together again.
- There was too much going on my head to begin to be able to write something coherent
- I had the Notebook and that was enough
- I was too miserable.)
The Scots pine that answers to mine. (See earlier post.) |
A good crop of fat acorns |
A puffball nearly as big as Ellie |
The view from the distant Scots pine (and my friend C and her dog) |