This morning while walking the dog – or rather while sitting down in the corner of a field out of the wind to ‘meditate’ (my version) and watch the dog excavating a rabbit hole in the hedge – I had another thought.
I need to give more weight to my creative side.
My father was a businessman who didn’t have much time for art unless it made money whereas my mother’s family includes artists, writers and a musician, and I don’t think I’ve ever reconciled the two. Both sides are strong in me but I think the business side has always dominated – to the detriment perhaps of my health (migraines causing – among other symptoms – one-sided headaches).
I allow myself to be creative in the spaces left over from all the ‘serious’ stuff of my life – checking bank statements, juggling money, writing shopping lists for Frog, organising – and all the time I’m being creative (be it writing, sewing, taking photographs, or simply doing nothing and letting my brain run free) I’m in a rush, knowing that my time is limited and expecting the business side of me to swoop down at any minute and tell me off for wasting time.
So, the next step is to work out how to resolve this conflict, how to stop my business side being such a bully and embrace my inner artist.
Writing this post (while I ‘should’ be hoovering the sitting-room/ pulling up nettles, filing, clearing mud out of the utility room . . .) is a start.
All other suggestions gratefully received.
And while I’m on the subject, here are two of my birthday cards, one made for me by a niece (on Frog’s side) who is both a photographer (www.kimwhitworth.co.uk www.facebook.com/kimwhitworthphoto ) and a banker, and the other a drawing by my mother’s brother who used to be a businessman.
|copyright Kim Whitworth|
|copyright Herbert Despard|